Landon
Too much needs to be expressed to do your life justice. No amount of praise which you so deeply deserve could encapsulate your life, especially given the difficultly of doing so in only one day, one celebration, one statement from only one of your sons.
To truly get a fair and more complete understanding of the impact you have had on so many, one would need a lifetime of open ears.
I could try and sum up my feelings towards you as your child, I could reminisce about the special bond we have.
I could touch on the beautiful “mistake” that gifted me the opportunity to be your son and how you weren’t going to deny me that gift, even though it put your own life at risk.
I could talk about how your water broke while taking your final exam in Duane Physics at the University of Colorado a month and a half prior to my birth.
And how you fought so ferociously on bed rest to bring me into this world.
And how because of all the strength and devotion you gave to me in between, I was able to take class in that exact same room some 20 years later,
ultimately graduating from the same university as you did.
I take an immense amount of pride in that parallel we share.
I could talk about how after working insane hours all week at the hospital in Cape, you would get in the car and drive 14 hours straight, just to watch my college soccer games on the weekend.
I could talk about all the people you have brought into this world,
all those who get to experience the beauty of life because of you,
all the families you helped shape
or all the patients who’s lives you’ve changed and in many cases saved.
It still wouldn’t be enough,
it still doesn’t depict the true essence of the deeply defined and beautifully woven imprint your existence has left on this world.
And of course with this imprint, the incredibly apparent and painfully sad void your absence has left.
Instead I want to look forward through the pain of doing so.
Thinking of all our wonderful memories together, it is hard to envision what a future without you will be like.
No family vacation will be the same, no holiday gathering will be the same, no New Years or 4th of July fireworks, lighting up the night sky like your radiant soul will be the same.
No triumph nor failure with be the same without your guidance.
However, no more so will your warmth and love be craved for, than the moments in between.
Moments of silence simply with your presence, Moments of sitting on the couch as you scratch our head,
sharing a glass of wine, looking at our phone to see a FaceTime call from you,
or moments jamming out to some classic rock in the car as you bang on the dash and criticize our driving.
Those are the moments I will endure,
I will endure knowing that in some way you are with me, you are with all of us.
Knowing you are within me, knowing you are what makes me me, I can find strength and courage, to try and live with the same purpose as you did, so admirably.
I will fight with the same bravery, spirit and respect, that you fought with your entire life,
until the moment you left us.
Our family will bind together ever tighter because of the strength of your DNA that intertwines within all of us.
We will live our lives, watch our own children, brothers, sisters, nieces blossom.
We will celebrate their and our own personal achievements with passion and unfiltered joy and overcome failures and struggles with humility and guile because that is the example you set for us.
We will continue to grow our family with the same compassion and care that you exhibited and provided to us day in and day out.
We will go on vacations, gather on holidays, sit down for average weekday dinner,
yes without you physically, but we will do so with unwavering love because that is how you taught us to do so.
Our family is now missing its heart.
But with your guidance, we will be a family of strength, we will be a family of loyalty, and a family of unrelenting stubbornness. But most importantly, because of you, we will be a family of LOVE.
